New Month- I.Am.Enough.

March was OUT OF CONTROL.  Seriously.

Between Lucas' birthday, Easter, and work, I felt like I could never get ahead.  I still slightly feel that way but I have several to do lists and a daily schedule that is making me feel a little bit better.

I have also been focusing on the following mantra: I AM ENOUGH.

You've probably seen some ads out there or other people posting this but I feel like I need to get it tattooed on my forehead so I see it every time I look in the mirror.  My friend Kay is constantly reminding me that I am a perfectionist and that if I don't feel like I can do something perfectly, I won't do it or I will beat myself up over it..... When you've been friends for over 10 years, she knows me well.  Because she is exactly right.

Case in point: Balancing running and strength training.  I am in week FOUR of marathon training already (4 miles this weekend....) and I have trained my weekly schedule FOUR times.  At first I was just going to run 4 days a week, do yoga, and strength train 1 day with 1 day of rest.  Then I decided to do 2 days of strength training (which didn't happen).  Then I decided I should do 21 Day Fix 7 days a week and run 4 days a week... REALLY didn't happen.  This week.... I decided to just be enough.  It is ENOUGH to run 4 days a week and do something else on the other days.  Yoga.. Strength train.. whatever.  It will be OK. 

I am a married single mother (google it...AKA my husband is gone 16 days out of the month), I have a full tie job, I am training for a marathon, and I am trying to start my own business.  WHAT THE HELL ELSE DO I EXPECT TO DO WITH MY LIFE?  I barely have time to shower each day (ok, I shower every other day and take a bath and relax in between) let alone do two freaking workouts every day.  Maybe this summer when Lucas goes to daycare a couple days a week or I can do it during his nap time but right now?  Right now he is getting 3 molars, I am averaging 5 hours of sleep a night, and my job is out of control.  Right now is not the time for perfection.  Right now is the time to SURVIVE.  and BE ENOUGH.

I really went back to this post about the book 168 Hours.  What am I going to do with my hours? What are my priorities?  I can't be a good mom to Lucas if I am running myself ragged. 

So this weekend I am focusing on slowing down, taking one minute at a time, and focusing on being enough.