I had a shitty day yesterday. There is no nice way to say it. I took Lucas to the dentist and while he wasn't traumatized by the experience, I was. According to the dentist, Lucas already has an overbite that is "pretty profound actually" most likely due to his pacifier. I don't even know what else happened after that because I instantly went into mommy guilt and grief. When we first have him a paci, I swore up and down it would be gone at a year. And then it was this summer when he didn't have daycare for a week. And then just last week I was telling Mike I didn't think he was ready and we should wait. Obviously we should NOT wait because I don't want to do more damage! I cried most of the way home and at various points throughout the day. I just feel so guilty and responsible. As someone who at one point had to go to the dentist two days in a row to get 13 mini cavities filled (thanks mom and dad for skimping on the anti cavity treatment when I was younger), I've tried really hard to be diligent about brushing Lucas' teeth and he rarely gets juice. But obviously that wasn't enough.
My dear friend Kay gave me the pep talk of a lifetime today and told me I can have a pity party until Sunday night and then I have to wake up Monday and stop being sad.
Double blow yesterday was that Mike requested the wrong days off (seriously need to work on our communication) and we are no longer taking a family vacation to Omaha in a couple weeks. I was already in a low mood and that just sent me over the edge.
Although I did indulge in some pity chips and chocolate, I also packed Lucas in the jogging stroller and we did a 2 mile run with a stop at the park midway. Mama needed some pounding to make the negative thoughts go away.
I had to work today and I am really excited about a project that I get to be a part of and got to listen to someone I consider a work role model so I took today as my rest day. 4 miles and strength tomorrow.
I also wanted to share for all my 21 day fix fans that I am switching back to the 1200-1500 plan. I had let myself go up a calorie level because I was running but since I end up eating a treat every day I am actually taking on too many each day. Since I haven't been successful at not having a great, we will go this route and cross our fingers :) I did turn down fresh, warm cinnamon rolls today... My treat ended u being strawberry jello salad so I should have had he roll when it was in front of me ;)
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