Going back to work was tough but the tough parts surprised me. I was blessed to be able to be home with my baby boy for 5 months-- I went back to work for 8 days over 4 weeks in May/June but that was the only time I was away from him other than a few brief trips to Sioux Falls. I have seen every first-the first time he rolled both ways, his first smile, the first time he sat unassisted propped up on his hands and I am so sad that there are probably going to be firsts that I don't see from this point on. I thought I would be a hot mess when I drove to work today but it was actually last night that was the most difficult- I did not want to put him to bed! I was in tears the entire time. I think knowing that he was going to wake up and I wouldn't be the one there was killing me. I'm glad that he doesn't have to go to daycare until September 2nd but at the same time, I think I will enjoy the time we spend together getting him ready to go to daycare before I go to work. He did wake up briefly for his pacifier so I was at least able to give him a smile and a kiss. I managed to get through the day by staying busy with a training this morning and catching up with co-workers in the afternoon. There was one brief rough moment when I turned on my computer and there was his smiling face but I breathed through it and carried on. And the smile and excitement I got from him when I walked in the door made me forget about the whole day.
Sometimes you have rough days in life but you have to get through them. Being a working mother seems very difficult right now but so did being a mother the first few weeks. Eventually it will become my new normal. And I just keep reminding myself of the below quote.
Happy Monday!
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