Working in the schools, I see a growing trend of students being referred for special education at the high school level because they refuse to do their homework. Or kids who are already in special education and their primary service is study hall because they fail classes because they don't do their work in class. And don't even get me started on how many kids I believe are inaccurately identified as having ADHD because they aren't paying attention. Of course they aren't paying attention- they are a struggling learner or have a low IQ. They don't need meds, they need a curriculum at their level! Now these have been my personal opinions and observations in my 5 years in the field but lately I've been seeing more and more from the field that agree with me (score!). As I read this book, I could not stop telling my husband about what I was reading- he probably got really sick of it but it's been awhile since I got excited about a non- fiction book. Not only did I enjoy this book professionally, but as a parent of a boy I also got a good take home message about things I need to be cognizant of raising Lucas.
The first chapter outlines the research surrounding the idea that boys today are more unmotivated and underachieving than any other time in U.S. history. This isn't a phenomenal that only impacts minorities from low income families- it crosses racial and socioeconomic statuses. And yes, as the author addresses, girls today have problems too- but they are different problems. So this book focuses on boys ;)
The first factor that was identified was changes at school. Again, something I have thought but was confirmed: kindergarten today is what first grade was twenty years ago. If you haven't had a rigorous preschool, you come in behind. Kindergarten isn't about songs and learning to play- that was 3 year old preschool. It's about learning to read, write and do math. And boys development differs from girls. At age 5 (when most kids start kindergarten because their parents want them in school so they don't have to take care of them or pay for daycare), boys' brains are not ready to learn about reading and writing. Their brain is at the same developmental place as a 3 year old girl. And would you try to teach that girl to read and write and expect her to sit all day? The author advocates that boys should be 7 before they should be expected to learn what we want... Wow! (Note to self- do not send Lucas to kindergarten until he is 6!) Boys are also not programmed to want to do things just for the purpose of pleasing adults so we need to find engaging tasks that boys will want to complete OR we need to find ways to make them want to complete them.... Like a little friendly competition. Whoa the parent groups are going crazy now... Competition? That will ruin their self- esteem. No, hating school and feeling unsuccessful at school will do that for them. The author has several examples but just know, he's right ;)
The second factor is..... Video games. Of course ;) but the author isn't completely against them and he's not against them just because of the violence although he does have several guidelines on the type of violence kids should get to experience. What he is against is that by playing video games, kids don't actually go out and by not going out, they don't ever experience life. They aren't motivated by life because they don't EXPERIENCE life. They can turn life on and off with the click of a button. The author says the following priorities have to occur: family, homework, friends and then video games. And only video games if you are monitoring the content, the time is limited (no more than 40 minutes a day in school days and one hour a day on other days and ONLY after homework and other chores are completed), and the priorities are met- going outside never gets replaced by playing a video game.
The third factor is ADHD medications. Today's boys are 30!! times more likely to be in ADHD medications. And that these medications actually change the structure of the brain and decrease their motivation, even if they've been on it less than a year. My mind was blown a little bit by that one.... That's going to make me think a little bit before talking to parents about medication- not that I say much about it other than talk to your doctor and its your choice.
The fourth factor Dr. Sax discusses is endocrine disruptors. This one was a hard chapter to read because I've already exposed Lucas to many of them- plastic bottles! They talked about studies done on pregnant women who drank pop and water from plastic bottles as well as kids and they basically disrupt the hormone system- boys have less masculine features and girls become more feminine and get their periods earlier. Crap crap crap. I can't honestly say I'm cutting them out of our lives because that would be a lie but I will try to limit Lucas' exposure. This chapter also discussed how kids are growing more obese and fragile because they aren't exposure to proper nutrients. I definitely try to hit most of the major food groups at each mea for Lucas. Because he's so tiny, I do let him have a little "dessert" (part of an Oreo, graham crackers) after supper but if he was even approaching overweight, that stuff would not be in our house. I 100% believe that it is the PARENTS who are responsible for their child's weight and access to healthy foods and getting out to exercise. That's why I push myself to live a healthy lifestyle and be a good example for Lucas. How would it look if I told him to go outside and play and I sat on the couch?
In between the fourth and fifth factors, there is a chapter called "Failure to Launch" in which Dr. Sax talks about the growing number of males who live with their parents and basically mooch. This book was written in 2007 but they gave the statistic that one THIRD of babies are born to parents who are not married these days and the increasing reason is because women want a baby but they don't want a second child by having a husband- WOW! This chapter really made me think about men today. My husband does a great job helping me most days but there are definitely days when I have told him that I didn't need a second child. Women today are expected not only to be the housewives our mothers were but also expected to be the breadwinners our fathers were (I am using broad generalizations to make the point- trust me, I know this was not everyone's situation growing up.... my own mother did both!) But just think about it- today's women no longer see the point of having a man in their life because we can do it on our own if we want to. I've often joked with my friends that we should marry each other and raise our kids because it would be so much easier.
In this chapter, Dr. Sax also discussss how a lot of the manual jobs (construction, plumbing) are being given to immigrant workers because today's boys see these jobs as beneath them or aren't willing to do the hard work even though they could make $50k without a college degree. I don't think I can write on this subject without offending someone but just know we had lengthy discussions at my house about it. Especially since I have 7 years of education and my husband has 2 and he makes more than me ;)
The fifth factor Dr. Sax discusses is the revenge of the forsaken gods, who are basically our role models. He talks about how young men don't have a community of elders to teach them what a man is and so they never learn because they aren't directly taught. He talks about several cultures that have abandoned the tradition of elders teaching the young men the traditions of the community.
So just when you feel like there is no hope left for your poor boy, the final chapter is called Detox and suggestions are given. First, be active in your child's education. Make sure they are ready for kindergarten when you send them and make sure they are getting experiences and hands on learning. Dr. Sax talks a lot about same sex classrooms or schools as an option for boys who struggle in the public education. Second, monitor the video game usage your child has with the thoughts I gave above. Third, make sure if you do medicate your child, you look long and hard at which medication you use. Fourth, watch out for the endocrine disruptors (seriously this still freaks me out and makes me paranoid!). And last, surround your son with positive male role models. Even if they have a living and caring father, the recommendation is that he has more than one- a coach, a Scout leader, a Big Brother, a mentor.
Whew. Ok that was a big topic for today but I had to share, especially for other moms of boys out there. Time to take my little boy to the library. We already went strawberry picking this morning and he is covered in red juice- experiences right? 
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