In high school, I never had to worry about my weight. I could eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. And I did. My friend once tried to take me running and I made it two blocks before collapsing in a snow pile. My mom and I would go to the gym and be so impressed when we lasted 10 minutes on the elliptical. You've heard of "skinny fat"<--- definition of that.
Fast forward to college when my eating habits worsened. Late night food runs to the Bump, calorie loaded coffee drinks every day (multiple times a day during finals week), and my definition of exercise was to read a magazine and ride the bike while my friends ran (suckers!) at the gym. When I moved out of the dorms, I was 15 pounds heavier and my self-esteem was gone. My amazing roommate and I made attempts at healthy living and would regularly go to the gym but it seemed like every time I would start to build up my running (20 minutes on the treadmill was a BIG deal back then), I would get sick. Because I still did not have a clue. I didn't take vitamins, I loaded up on carbs like oatmeal and brown rice and thought I was healthy, and my portion controls were CRAZY. The only time I lost weight was when I was studying for the GRE and applying to grad school because I was so busy I don't think I took time to eat (once I figured my life out, I quickly gained that all back).
When grad school hit, I got a little bit smarter and started tracking calories. Then I fell into the pattern and would do great during the week when I had a routine of going to class and practicum but would fall apart on the weekends when I could relax and let loose. I probably lost 5 pounds during this time but was still unhappy.
And then I moved home my internship year. And I got a personal trainer because my wedding was a year away and who doesn't want to look and feel good on their wedding day. I did Advocare, Nutrisystem, and a whole lot of other stupid diets and in the end I lost 10 pounds.
Before moving home
A few months later
I got married, moved in with my husband into the House of Horrors and was instantly depressed. I was away from my friends and family, I didn't know anybody, our rental house should probably be condemned... so I sat in a chair and ate... and ate... and ate. I made a half-assed attempt at P90X but it didn't stick. And the weight slowly came back.
When I realized that it was lose weight or buy new clothes, I went EXTREME. I started doing daily meal plans, counting calories, running again. I didn't go out with friends. I didn't make holiday cookies with my mom. I literally yelled at my husband if he put a cup of cheese in a recipe when it called for half a cup because now the calories were off. If you haven't heard of orthorexia, look it up and you will get a glimpse into what my life was like. Looking back, it was insane and I was miserable. But I was my high school weight again!
And then.... I got pregnant.
And life wasn't about me anymore... it was about my beautiful baby boy who made me a better person.
I easily lost my baby weight thanks to exclusively pumping for Lucas for 9 months (I am an expert on all things pumping if you ever find yourself in that situation). But I knew that I needed to find a healthier way to live.
Enter my friend loaning me her 21 day fix containers and workouts. And it CLICKED. Finally! Healthy eating guidelines that kept me full and satisfied. Workouts that were tough but easily doable because it was 30 minutes, not an hour like P90X. Letting myself have a treat every know and then. And THAT is when I decided to become a Beachbody Coach. My goal is to help other people who have been on this up and down journey find the program that works for them.
Now I'm not perfect... hence the lack of posts the past few days. But I used to stay up at night feeling so guilty about eating like that and creating plans to help me "fix" the damage I did. Not anymore. Right now the only thing keeping me up at night is my cough, my son, and my dog. I am able to go out and enjoy a meal with friends without guilt because I just adjust what I am eating at other meals or tighten up on my eating plan the following week.
I'm not able to balance everything all the time... sometimes I let Lucas watch way too much Winnie the Pooh. And if I'm in a bad mood, my husband better watch out. I forget to pray and thank God for my blessings. I yell at my parents. I'm snappy towards co-workers. But I can't even describe to you how much more balanced my life is now than it was even 2-3 years ago. I'm healthier (don't let this current illness fool you), happier, and a better person and I strive to continue on this track.
If you're ready for a change, send me a message or email me at kaylamariedejong@gmail.com and I am ready to help you!
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